Wednesday, August 1, 2012
I have been avoiding talking about turning 50...
Not because it bothered me but rather because I could think of nothing wise or profound that a 50 year old woman should say.
So...here we are a little more than a month after my "Jubilee" birthday and I am still not waxing profound or wise...
So I will just break down and write about what has happened in my heart in the last month.
Due to a bad/good(depends on how you look at it)case of bronchitis, I have spent the last 2 weeks and one half fighting a cough and to breath. To be honest I was a bit(alot)irritated with everyone, Mexico, the doctor, and even God over the fact that my time was not my own and my plans were on hold or cancelled. And then I woke up last Wednesday morning and could hardly breath. Suddenly the only thing that mattered was the next breath/few seconds! We made a trip to the hospital (this strikes terror in my heart on a good day, so it was truely an emergency!) After a chest xray, and examination, it was decided I did not yet have pnuemonia and could be treated outpatient. Nebulizer treatments and injections and cough syrup and complete bedrest were the doctor's orders.
So one week later I am getting better and resting and pacing back and forth in front of the window to my patio are the extent of my activity! I have read three entire books! I have been reading through Psalms too! This is where the heart part comes in...I have NOT been grateful enough to my God for His grace, mercy, love and blessings! I have rather had an attitude of "I am entitled to or deserve this and/or more" most of my life. Not an "obnoxious in everyone's face/demand my rights" kind of attitude but rather an "under the surface/always justified" kind of attitude. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Boy did this one take me by surprise. THEN... came the shame of how could a 50 year old daughter of the one and only God, who has been a missionary for 26 years, have a gratitude/pride problem. God is loving and patient and has a sense of humor. In the midst of a nebulizer treatment my cell phone rings and the leader of Women's Ministries at church calls to see how I am. AND says "how is the talk you are going to give on Attitude of Gratitude, coming along?" Yup, monthes ago, I agreed to give a talk on Gratitude at the August ladies meeting! I even bought a book about being thankful during our trip to Texas in the Spring! I put it on my bookshelf and promptly forgot about it. I read it yesterday. I am greatly saddened for being ungrateful for a big part of my first 50 years!
So......if you look in the margin of my blog you will see my list of 3 things I am grateful for each day. Yes, for the first year of my second 5o years, I will post each day 3 things I am grateful for.